When Ryan was a teenager, his family fostered several children. He saw these children come into his home broken, afraid, and weak. He watched them flourish in a healthy and safe environment. Their very demeanor changed before his eyes. This had such an impact on him that before we even got married he asked me if I was willing to do this in our home one day. I already had a strong inclination for foster kids. Anytime I read a news story about a child abuse case I would always think, I'll take them! They can come live with me! We decided last January to finally pursue the idea.
In September, we were finally licensed for children ages 0-3 years. We decided that age range would be a good fit for our family. Every family has different needs and are encouraged to set boundaries to ensure a successful placement. You can pick age, gender, race and many other factors when deciding to foster. Once you are licensed, you receive phone calls about various children that are in need of a home. You can ask questions about the child and then decide whether it would be a good fit for your family. If you say 'Yes', your name is submitted to DCS and they decide what is best for the child which may or may not pick you. Once we were licensed, we got 8 phone calls about different children in a 4 day period.
This was interesting because it showed us the HUGE need for foster families in Arizona. It also showed us that we didn't HAVE to say 'Yes' to every child or feel obligated to take a placement that wouldn't be right for our family. We ended up with a really great fit for our family. We got a phone call on a Friday in September about Baby B. DCS dropped him off about 2 hours later. It was kind of a whirlwind not knowing much about him. We knew he was 15 months old and a little bit of his history but that was it. I ran to the store to get the right sized diapers and some baby food. It was trial and error on his nap schedule and likes/dislikes of food. It turned out that he HATES all baby food and just prefers adult food. We figured out a nap schedule really quickly. For the first two weeks he woke up in the night several times a night, but after that he slept through the night. He was a good eater and good sleeper. He had very few behavioral issues and was such a delight in our home. Seriously guys, he was the BEST! He constantly gave hugs and loved to snuggle close. He had zero stranger danger when he came to our home and I think that helped him transition well.
We recognize that this easy transition is not always the case. But it does demonstrate that children in the foster care system sometimes get a bad rap. If they are in the system, it is due to their parental neglect or abuse. These children aren't instigators, they are victims. When we met Baby B. it was easy to fall instantly in love with him. We are not allowed to post pictures of foster kid's faces, so this is all you are going to get.
We have learned a lot over the last 4 months fostering Baby B. Of course there have been ups and downs. Despite our protestations the courts ordered him to go to another home at the end of January. We were/are pretty devastated. But we do not regret a moment. He has changed our hearts and our family dynamics in such a positive way. The kids have loved him like a brother and we have loved him like a son. We will never forget this darling boy. For those of you wondering, we'll probably have another little one come into our home soon and start the journey anew.
No comments:
Post a Comment