I wish to give myself a pity party, so if you do not wish to join me, read no further. I am a dancer. I love it. I live it. My idea of a fantastic day would be to dance for hours on end. So it seems natural that I would love it if my children were interested in dance. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were able to get scholarships and opportunities dance their whole life through if they wish?
Really it isn't too far fetched. I can help with technique and flexibility at home, they could advance as quickly as can be in their classes. So why not? Then second guess myself about the psychology of children and teens. What if I push TOO hard. Will they end up hating it rather than loving it? Where is the line? Should I feign a lack of interest so they can choose this for themselves? Should I tell them stories about how much I love it and how much happiness it brings me? I don't know!
Obviously Sadie is still young and she is my first child. So naturally she is getting all my experimental parenting out of the way. When she was 3 I taught her and some other neighborhood girls. She liked it for social reasons, not necessarily for dancing itself. I worried she would stop listening to me as her teacher, so the next year I signed her up at a renowned ballet school nearby. Their technique is seriously amazing. After 4 months, Sadie was done. She hated it. I had to coerce her into going to class every week. It didn't feel that it was too strict or too structured for a 4 year old. So I am wondering, is this a 4 year old thing? Does she really not like dance or is it her teacher? Or ballet? I don't know.
She would tell me that she doesn't like stretching. So I tell her to do everything else the teacher says except stretching. Maybe she'll like it then. Nope. She doesn't like it. So do I tell her she needs to keep this commitment that I made for her until the end of the dance year? Should I let her quit? Again, where is the line? Does there even need to be a line for a 4 year old?
So I then suggest gymnastics. (Barf)...(no offense to gymnasts, but we all know gymnastics isn't dance...BUT it's as close as I am gonna get) She did gymnastics for a few months and excelled. So much so that her teachers bumped her up to a higher level. Boom. Sadie doesn't want to go anymore. What? Why? What is going on? Is she self conscious? Does she really not like it? Is it the teachers, friends, etc? I don't know.
So we take a break. Meanwhile I notice that this girl has some moves. She might not like ballet because she is naturally a hip hop kind of girl. We try some hip hop on our own. She doesn't like it. Then BOOM. I find the most amazing deal in the universe here for a summer dance camp (jazz, ballet, and tap included). She can go to as little as 1 hour a week up to 10 hours a week for 8 weeks for $200. THIS. IS. AMAZING. So I take her to a trial jazz class today. (I was hoping anything but ballet would do the trick.) She leaves the class after the first 10 minutes. Apparently a girl told her she had to leave the classroom. What? No. Go back in, listen to your teacher. Tears. But MOM! I don't know what to do! More tears. I never want to go to a jazz class ever again!
Sadie does not have to be a dancer. She is one amazing little kid regardless of my imposed wishes. She can be whomever she wishes to be. I get that.
But can I just let it be known that right now I am seriously bummed.
3 comments:
that's rough. randy says that piano doesn't have to be our kids thing. they have to do it until they're 18, but it doesn't have to be their thing. how's that for mean parents?
Just give it time. She is so little still! I put Laylah in dance at age 3 and she excelled and liked it, but she didn't LOVE it. She did it until she was 6 and wanted to take a break. That break lasted for 4 years until all of the sudden she was interested again. From this past year of dance alone she is moving up two company levels. Her teacher told me she is an absolute natural (which, I'll be honest, makes me grin like an idiot because my teachers always told me that ;) and she LOVES dance now. She dances ALL. THE. TIME. It cana ctrually get slightly annoying when I'm trying to have a conversation with her and she's dancing around me in circles, haha. ANyway, don't give up on her.... just give it time!
That is so frustrating, I feel for you! Hopefully she will decide at some point that she is ready to do dance. I know she will be amazing at whatever she puts her mind to.
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